Marriage in Islam –
if one chooses not to marry
or is unable to get married.
Marriage in Islam –
if one chooses not to marry
or is unable to get married.
–>
The first post on marriage covered the introduction to marriage and generally what Islam portrays regarding marriage.
From the topics mentioned, “If one chooses not to marry or is unable to get married” is the next topic to be discussed.
Islam is a flexible religion but has its boundaries; its flexibility allows one to adopt it as a way of life and implement its teachings into every situation; whereas its boundaries restrict man from becoming too engrossed into certain acts and therefore becoming extreme in following their desires. Flexibility and boundaries set by Islam have created a perfect balance for man to achieve good both in this world and the hereafter, it is a balance that allows man to be successful in both the worlds.
Marriage also has boundaries and flexibilities; it is a matter which has been regarded as half of one’s Imaan (religion). Marriage is taken seriously in Islam as it allows people to live in a clean and moral society where desires are fulfilled in a human and shameful manner. It is an act that increases the number of believers and will cause our beloved Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم to be proud by having the largest number of believers.
The Prophet of Allah صلي الله عليه و سلم has clearly forbidden people from celibacy:
“There is no celibacy in Islam”
[Sahih al-Bukhari]
However, in life it is not always possible to adopt the Sunnah act of marriage. There come in life situations that restrict that do not allow one to get married.
Therefore, it is necessary to mention the ruling of marriage; is it Mustahab (desired/recommended), Sunnah (way of the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم, therefore encouraged), Wajib/Fardh (obligatory).
Similarly, there will be times when marriage will be ruled as Makrooh (disliked) or Haraam (forbidden).
At this time we will deal with those rulings that concern that person who chooses not to marry or does not have the means to.
According to Imams Abu Hanifah marriage is Sunnah and recommendatory. It is an act of worship and one should strive in fulfilling this act. However, if one is in a position where he cannot control his desires then it is Wajib (necessary) for such a person to get married as he will not be able to save himself from sinning.
However, a person is excused from marrying, so much so that he should refrain from it, if he does not possess the means of supporting his wife or the capability of fulfilling her rights.
The question remains for that person who wishes to marry but does not possess the means, what should he do? Hadhrat ‘Abdullah رضي الله عنه narrates that:
“We were with the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allah’s Apostle صلي الله عليه و سلم said, “O young people! Whoever amongst you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting is a shield for him (from desires).”
[Sahih al-Bukhari]
In this Hadeeth it is clearly mentioned that one who cannot marry should fast as the fasting will act as a shield for him from his desires. However, whilst doing this one should make an effort to resolve the matters that are stopping him from marrying.
As a final note, it should be remembered that not being financially able and being in a position to provide for one’s wife means the basic essentials that are necessary. Having an elegant and extravagant wedding and inviting people is not part of ‘essentials’ and is in actual fact totally discouraged and forbidden in Islam. However, in today’s society we see people going to the extent of taking out loans to organise a ‘wedding to remember.
Insha Allah this topic will be mentioned in later posts and how choosing the correct partner will save one from committing such a grave sin from the first day of such a blessed and auspicious act of worship.
May Allah give us all the courage and strength to save ourselves from the sins of desires and may He also give those people who are in need of marriage the means and a pious partner. Aameen.
Marriage in Islam – if one chooses not to marry or is unable to get married.
274 responses to “Marriage in Islam – if one chooses not to marry or is unable to get married.”
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I am a 31 year old girl, unmarried, working for a living. My mother has been looking for a match for me for years now. I am good looking with no physical or mental disability and still my match has not yet been fixed. So, as mentioned above, “whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting is a shield for him (from desires).” How does this apply to girls like me. When and for how many days am I supposed to fast (asking this question since i’m a working girl).
Eagerly awaiting a reply, please guide me.-
selam you should look for a match yourself in addition to tour mother. I am trying to get married too and i have some kidney issues so i dont fast alhumdullah fast on the days where your desire for a mate is high and pray late at night so that maybe allah will give you your husband quick
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What should i do if i try my best to attract one of my friend to convert to islam . But later on , my friend ask me to married.. What is the best solution?
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I will marry you alina
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Sister. Read ur post. Its long time. Liked it. Hope that sister, Allah has fullfilled yr dream.
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Ok bro
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Just keepin callin to ALLAH he will find the perfect man for you In Sha ALLAH
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Ameen.
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I’m single and i want to merry.
It’s my contact number call me back 03326464780-
Bro salaam. Pls advise your age and if is possible for you to move to Australia with a job. Jzk.
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fool! don’t give out your phone number idiot!.
you are surly here to pickup women!
and this is not a site for your desires back off! ):-(
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From fast the meaning is refraining from such thing that uplift ur lust which while u fasting always try to do like stayimg humble and refraining from all that is forbidden.
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Don’t get married, you’ll regret it. It’s best you don’t get married. It’s disgusting! It’s immoral! It’s disgraceful!!
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Ya I’m agree with you because I’ve seen a lot of people getting married and then the problems starts and they fight even they hurt you physically
I just hate getting married in my family all of my siblings hates marriage all of my siblings don’t wanna get Married we just want to follow our goals I just want to make my mum proud of me inshallah and I will never marry !! -
Salaam. Is that your personal experience your hurt your pain your bitterness that you encountered and are now inflicting on others. Life is too short. Bear with sabr. We all have our burdens our sorrows. I have been cheated on twice by ex husband and ex fiance but thats their choice their loss. I will not take on board their negativity and make others suffer around me because then there is no difference between them and me. I have been alone for 12years. Yes im hurt bitter i feel like giving up but who do i give up on? On Allah swt or myself? Neither is possible. Hang in there. You have to believe Allah swt has a plan for you. When you find your footing alhamdhulillah you will look back and want to wipe the tears of other broken people. I pray with all my heart whatever Almighty Allah swt chooses for you is the best for your deen duniya and aakhirah. Ameen. Jzk.
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I’m on your side.
I’m against marriage too!
let’s all ban marriage from the world!
follow me on twitter
@marriage_is_ugly
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Salma, Just because you had just about gone through some shit doesn’t mean you need to advise other individuals to not marry. Marriage is a MUST in Islam, do not disgrace Allah. Marriage is always in your hand. It’s what you chose.
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Read the holy Quran as and when you get your leisure , you will see the more you had given time to the words of Allah He had definitely sent you your groom insha Allah please reply as soon as you get married . Allah hafiz
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Which surahs of the quran should I read or listen to?
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hello sis mujhe 1 bhabhi ki talash he
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Hello Sis I’m looking for 1 sister in law
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my email zeeshansyed131@gmail.co
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Are you interesting, i want to marry you.
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me khaleel from india looking for marriage
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Let’s connect even im unable to find a match
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bismillah.
I’m Ahmed, 28 years old, unmarried, working in Germany. If you want to marry write me. ahmet_sufi@yahoo.de
salams
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Askm I am 34 from India I am also looking for a spouse I am practicing Muslima my parents were looking fr a match from last so many years but not able to find one.
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Can i see a pic of you .im 35 male from Pakistan and also not yet married.I would like to see you if you allow .Thankyou
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May Almighty Allah provide your own as spouse for you in the major of your time because everything with time don’t lose hope… Am come From Nigeria but am living in Europe country…. Maaslam.
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Salam, As a Christian woman who has chosen not to marry because working for peace in the Middle East is dangerous. I was curious to read your article, my religion (Eastern Orthodox) has similar views on marriage, but without the fasting. We fast every week anyhow though.
Anyhow, I’m writing with all due respect. As an English teacher, I wanted to point out a somewhat important grammatical error in your 4th paragraph.
Marriage is taken seriously in Islam as it allows people to live in a clean and moral society where desires are fulfilled in a human and shameful manner.
I think you mean in a “humane manner without shame.” As the meaning currently is that desires should be fulfilled in a way that brings shame. Which I believe is the opposite of your intent. ~N
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Thanks for the correction made
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Loooooooooool 😂😂😂
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Thanx for the correction Nichelle
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Assalamalikum,
I am 33 years old female and not yet married. I have few spots on my left arm that are diagnosed by some doctor’s as leukoderma, some say they are early vitiligo and some other doctor’s say its nothing and I was born with this skin type.
During my entire life I have hardly received any proposal for marriage and of course Allah causes everything to happen.
I believe from my level of understanding that these spots were always the reason why people backed off and I was very aware of this situation from an early age. Keeping this is mind, I have established myself financially and I have been earning my own living for past 13 years. I have also lost interest in marriage after waiting for such a long time. Recently I received a proposal from divorced individual with a child . I don’t want to get married with a divorced person with kids or simply any divorced individual. I am sure I will not be a good mother for someone else’s child specially when the child’s mother is alive. I have two questions now
1. Am I doing a sin by refusing this proposal? Please bear in mind that this person still does not know the condition of my skin. He might reconsider or cancel his proposal after knowing about this.
2. Do people have right to refuse me religiously on basis of my skin situation?
What is ruling in Islam about marriage for people with skin disorders ?
JazakAllah khair.-
Hi, can i have your e-mail adress so that i can tell u somethings in detail or you can contact me on ik.ajnabi@hotmail.co.uk. Many thanks
waqar -
did you get the answer you wanted? I think to state its ur islamic duty to wed when circumstances are such that you try and you cannot, no matter how hard you try, is ridiculus! one can not force someone to marry, and we dont want to marry for the sake of it!!
i havent seen anything that ansswer this fact – pls enlighten me.
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please ur details send me with pic
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Koi bhi muslim Ladki Jo jism se mazur ho mai nikah krunga bande ko khan.Mohamed kahte h my email_I’d – tatasumtime11@gmail .com
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Assalam alaikum, i looking for Muslima for marriage. Im a maxillofacial surgeon from Bangalore India. Follow Sunnah. I have a personal problem. If you are still looking i have no problem as a maxillofacial surgeon. I can sought out without anyways. I request you to consider this.. My phone+91 8892772434. Please mail me your place and other details. dr.ks.moinuddin@gmail.com. Allah hafiz, im writing this in full consciousness and with parents approval.. I will send my photo if you’re interested. Jazak Allah khair.
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Salaam sis. Inshallah you are now happily married ameen. Just wanted to share something a boozurg shared with me. One when you receive an offer of marriage then know Allah swt is thinking of you so do not reject the offer lightly. There are many of us who have grown old alone and have no physical issues but get no offer for marriage. Two okay so you have a skin or cosmetic issue but to the right person he will choose to see past that. But having said that a skin problem should not be used to challenge peoples choices or attitudes to reject you. Its their life and they have every right to reject you or me for whatever reason or whatever doesn’t agree with them just like you rejected a divorced guy with a child. I got rejected on news years eve by an older divorced non-deeni guy with three adult children. Rejection is part of life. And a skin condition or medical condition should not be uses to feel special or entitled but unfortunately todays world teaches us to be narcisstic. A baba boozurg told me when we make dua to Allah swt and He answers we get our choice. But when He does not to answer or deliver that is His choice for us alhamdhulillah. Forgive me if my words or presence of mind has caused hurt to somebody because that was not my intention. My mission was to say somethinf to the effect of what our beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW had said or to the effect that what is meant for you won’t miss you snd what isn’t no matter how hard you try won’t be yours.
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I got so many rejection and I reject too.Now I am the happiest woman in the world.but bad women in islam criticize me even my own sis lol.
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JazakAllah for all your posts. I did not get the answer yet but as you notice this post is almost three years old..and over this time period I have learned that patience is what Allah intends for me..I am not in rush to get married neither am I worried about being unmarried. Every one is going through test in life and this one is mine, but as the last comment states I dont want to marry just for the sake of it, I really want a companionship in life as it a right Islam has given to me. Alhamdulillahi rabil alameen.
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Salaam,,
I am 29 yrs old girl living in USA. I live with my family. My parents are looking for proposal here. But few of the proposal I got they seem to reject me. I dont know the reason for it. I am decent looking, educated girl. I have no physical flaws on it. Lot of people reject because my background is gujarati muslim or because they want a younger girl for their son. I am keeping fast on fridays for marriage. Please advise what else should I do to get a pious husband.
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I am mohamed i live in kenya and i am 22yrz old and im also looking forward for a asian lady who is ready for marriage are you intrested? if u r indian muslim girl its ok even if you are older than me. a have no problem and am somali muslim guy good looking.and even i speak ur language(hindi)
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My dear sis i will like to wish you well in your search but my little reminder is dont set aside fridays for ur fast since is not accepted iamically for that. U can do it any otherday apart from friday only. Friday is eid day for muslims…….
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Do not fast on friday… If u are fasting once in a week then its good to choose other day than friday… Friday is known as d day of eid… So fasting on eid is not allowed…
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جمعہ کا روزہ رکھنا ممنوع ہے۔ آپ کی لیے دعا ہے کہ اللہ آپکے مسائل اور مشکلات آسان کرے۔ آمین
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According to a hadith shareef fasting on friday or Saturday is prohibited…. if u wana fast on dz days fast on,Thursday friday or like Saturday n sunday…. please search
The sunnah is to fast on Mondays n Thursdays. It was Rasool (S.A.W.W.)’s sunnah to fast on dz 2 days
Regards
Rabya -
Alhamdolillah I am Haji Gul Muslim from Pakistan I accept physically disability women more introduction on my e-mail address. hajigul809@gmail.com
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Salam.u can contact me .my e mail is chrizwansikander@gmail.com. i m also looking for life partner.i m from lahore pakistan.i m 34 years old.thnkx
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Salam sister,
I have got this Hadith for you which indicates that we shouldn’t fast on Fridays other than obligatory ones
It was proven in al-Saheehayn in the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he said: “I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, ‘None of you should fast on a Friday unless he fasts the day before or the day after.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1849, Muslim, 1929). Muslim narrated in his Saheeh that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Do not single out the night of Jumu’ah [i.e., Thursday night] from among other nights for praying qiyaam al-layl, and do not single out Friday from among other days for fasting, unless it is a fast that one of you regularly observes.” (al-Siyaam, 1930)May ALLAH s.w.t fulfil you dreams in a halal way…
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@ SHAFREEJ HIDAYATH..are you admin or moderator on his blog??..i have a request for you
thanks -
He is not. What is your request?
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@ Osman..thx fr being responsive..my request may sound inappropriate or against this blog’s rules. I want to get all my posts deleted. Please consider if possible for you.
Thanks,
Aftab
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I invite to come to pakistan.here is lot of pious persons where you can get marriage insha Allah
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Salam Zohad,
Would they be willing to come to Malaysia to marry a Malaysian girl? I’m 29, I have a stable job in Kuala Lumpur, alhamdullah. Completed my bachelor’s degree in sociology at the Islamic University in Malaysia, alhamdulillah — these bounties are all purely from Allah, they literally were handed to me, I didn’t do anything to deserve these blessings.
In Malaysian culture, people date each other and enter bf-gf relationships. However, I want no part in these types of means.
I have been making duaa for Allah to grant me a pious, good, kind, strong and gentle husband, someone who will fulfill half my deen. Please make duaa for me to get married soon and help spread the word for me.
-Shinaz
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Shinaz I am interested. I am actually from the Philippines. Ive been trying to find a suitable partner as well but I couldnt find one. I also dont want to engage in a bf gf relationship. Who knows, perhaps this is what Allah swt had pre-destined. If you get this message then send me your email and InshaAllah I will message you.
I feel you. I have also finished my bachelor degree but I dont have any job yet. Alhamdulillah.
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Salam Ali,
How do I do that without publicly displaying my e-mail? I’ve just created a Gravatar account, not sure how to use it yet.
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I have read that fasting just on Fridays is not allowed
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Aww all I cul’d say is life is sh**t
Salam (peace), I became a Muslim almost 2 years ago and I’m 29 living in UK. I have wealth but it’s not of my earnings but my dads. As a man I cannot marry knowing that I haven’t worked to provide for myself and I plan to avoid marriage until I am capable.
Is it sin to have a morality of righteousness?
If I had lost everything to fire then I would need to start over then surely I need to be capable before committing into marriage?
I do feel ashamed for letting myself become spoiled but I intend to change that with the help of Allah; the one and only creator and my only protecting friend.
I admit that I do get attracted by a women’s golden ratio and that is embedded into my brain as a healthy but I can restrain my eyes after a look but my preference is piety.
Fasting does help reduce my desires but I do not think it is required as I am an obedient servant of Allah and I fear Allah to even think of adultery.
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Am not replying but also airing my failures am a 40yrs old man and not married am simply scared of marriage reasons are that with may current job(driver) i may fail to fulfill my wife’s and children daily needs but i know its gett
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Am not replying but also airing my failures am a 40yrs old man and not married am simply scared of marriage reasons are that with may current job(driver) i may fail to fulfill my wife’s and children daily needs but i know its getting late now yet its also said that its Allah who provides what should i do b4 its to late i have become a social outcast my parent pleasure and my peers really getting on my nerves
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Salam brother,
Good to hear that you trying to live according to Islam as best as possible..
Coming to the “You don’t require fasting to reduce desire as you are an obidient servant of ALLAH”…
In this context I would like to remind you that once Iblis (shaytan) was also an obedient servant of ALLAH, so obidient that he was raised to the level of the leader of Angels… And then you know what happened with Iblis…
So we should always try to stick to sunnah without looking into our present.. Because we may live as a Muslim but the bottom line is that we should die as a Muslim…
May ALLAH s.w.t forgive all our sins and give us control over our desires and protect us from every haram activities… Aameen -
Asalaam aleikum, I am a Muslim lady in uk looking for marriage. You are right, when u have the fear of Allah (S.W.T) , you will be guided to the right way. May Allah Aza WajaAllah bless and protect us all. Ameen ya rabb.
Peace be Upon You.
Billy, I wouldn’t suggest you to wait until you learn your way of living and the rest you have stated.
Marriage becomes a duty upon the one who is capable of executing it financially and physically. Through the Will of Allah you have inherited your father’s wealth legally and it was destined for you to acquire it in an easy manner. It is Allah’s Mercy upon you, so accept it open heatedly and pay Gratitude to Allah for it. Allah intends to make things easy for us as He loves us more that our mother.
Also, being in business world for quite sometime, I know that it is a major task (full time job sometimes) to maintain Finances and multiply or grow your business/money etc..
Select a humble and caring girl for yourself, who can help you in protecting your inherited wealth and become independent. In fact it would the best if you two learn “together” the art of living a financially independent life. Remember Shaitaan is our open enemy so we have to be careful about his attacks. He might be alluring you away from a modest act through all the reasons rather excuses you have mentioned to delay marriage.
May Allah accept our repentance and guide us to the straight path. Ameen.
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are you moderator here?
any moderator?
Peace Be Upon You,
Desi_gal19,
You can only make dua and keep yourself happy for who you are and what have. Allah is giving you an opportunity to know the real purpose in life i.e. to worship and get closer to Him. Not many people get the opportunity you have in the form of “leisure time”. Take advantage of it. Your time/moment for marriage has not arrived yet. Why do you fear it as a delay? There is a time, place,shape and form for everything. For sun to rise, the night to cover the day, the leaves to be green, the sky blue, the eyes to be on top of our noses (:)) etc. etc..Everything looks beautiful in the form it is. May Allah forgive me for saying this but Allah cannot make mistake in His Creation, it is the best state for it to be in. If you agree that all these look perfect the way they are, then why are you so unsatisfied with the way your life is. One who created those has also created you and destined your life events. Be at ease, He is watching you and loves you more than your mother. Marriage is a sweet union of man and woman already paired by Allah, don’t dread its arrival rather execute a beautiful patient attitude towards it..Biiznillah you will be rewarded tremendously..May Allah accept our repentance Ameen..
My apologise if I mentioned anything to your dislike.
as salaam wa alaikium my sister is 28 yrs old and still no marriage proposals for her.My dad passed away long time ago.she is lil more than mediim built and wheatish in color.not sharp featured.she is well educated and staunch follower of islam.what will be her future life?
Salam friends..!! As I have read all your comments and learnt something from it ,so desired to ask and share something…
I am a 23 year old indian girl..completed my engineering in 2012 but at the end I did not get a job thats why wanted to do higher studies MBA. i Wrote my entrance test and now the time begins for the admission process. At this stage some of my friends saying not to continue higher studies and get married as it is forbidden in islam for muslim girls to work outside I have faith in Allah because whatever decision would be in the future ,that would be according to his will. i have done professional course and i wud be getting corporate world involvment in my life…..
i am very much confused…is it sin to continue my higher studies and delaying my marriage .? should i take admission or shall i wait for the marriage proposals? please pry for me…i am in great confusion.as i have spent hell lots of money in it…and still it is going on..
Walaikum Salaam Fizzi. I felt very happy to know about your academic acheivement,may Allah guide you in utilizing your knowledge in His service.
Your friends are right in telling you to get married as early as possible. But I suggest you to be active while waiting for a good proposal. I am an entreprenuer in engineering field. According to my experience you have enough qualification to land in medium to high end profession InshaAllah sooner or later. So why would you pursue MBA?. Keep looking for job with you present qualifications. I agree that in Islam woman are not encouraged to work outside but I certainly dont believe it is forbidden to do so. I am in corporate world for last 13 years. But my venture into corporate world was purely to sustain myself and family financially. Alhamdulillah I performed all my Salah at work and followed complete hijab.
To conclude, sister consider marriage first and foremost at this stage in life. If there is no pressing need for you to work or your family doesn’t want you to work then dont do so. Now learn skills to exel in domestic chores. Interior designing, cooking and so forth. InshaAllah your family will appreciate you and let you do what you desire. You are still young, InshaAllah you will get many opportunities to work later in your life. If you plan to continue education then instead of doing MBA start Quran Tafseer course and acquire closeness to Allah.
I believe if you are not the breadwinner/man of the house you should always look/percieve work outside as parttime work or secondary to all the household duties no matter how much qualified you are.
May Allah give you success in this world and foremost in the hereafter.
Ameen suma Ameen.
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assalamunalekum i m maheen 22yrs old,i want to study,i m not ready for marraige my parents want to do my marraige with man who is 35yr old,25 days r left for my marriage,bt i m not happy for this marriage becouse of age gap,want i will do
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assalamualaikum maheen
Did You Get Married?
Are You Happy?
Hope so
Walaikum Salaam Maheen, I congratulate you on receiving proposal and Allah has blessed you with an opportunity to start a family at such a young age. May Allah bless your marriage and provide you with best of offspring who become guidance for mankind in way of goodness Aameen.
Maheen age gap is a healthy thing in marriage relationship..before you ponder too deep into this age factor, look into all the positive things in this proposal..if you think 35 is an old age just for the sake of positive reinforcement look at the actress and actresses no matter what culture you belong to..you will see how youthful 35 years old people are..its a blossoming age especially for men..he will take very good care of you and I assume he is well established financially.. go enjoy life.. I am not forcing you but just helping you to see the goodness in marriage..go for it inshaAllah you will not regret if its only age you are talking about..
Please respond with any other concerns you have, I will be glad to help you in anyway possible
i am not a muslim but i don’t have any against in this belief.. i love a muslim guy and wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. if i converted to muslim is there any possibilities that he can marry me. his parents now is arranging his marriage for him. its scares me to death to think that maybe he’ll marry her because of tradition. what will i do. what will i need to prove that all i want was to love him and spend my life with him for the rest of my life. i know he loves me and i love him too. please give me advice i know i can be a good wife to him
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Dear, in islaam a man can also marry a non muslim woman but if she has the religion with divine book as bible, etc. and also its not suitable for a muslim to break promise, if he loves you and promises you to marry, he’ll do if dont its mean you choosed a man not love.
i want to marry a girl who shares my sadness and happiness . i am 24 years old . first i love her and i see her and she see me and we are talking freely . when i am able to earn many money and make a building then i get marry. okay. my lover may be 22 years old. my face book ID mohammadhanif01@yahoo.com
i come from a very overprotective dysfunctional family. I have also had skin issues since i can remember which made me totally socially an outcast. Last year i got a proposal from a family i dont even know of because my parents dont allow us to be with anybody outside. We kids were always at home..no social skills and how to behave with other people. I said no to the proposal because i kinda felt forced and im scared because the guy could also look at my face and someday or the other he would call me ugly because of my scars. Im 25 now and now i come to realize that life is a game and i should have at least looked at that boy. Now i feel lonely as ever. Its a vicious circle. Im mentally very sensitive and could never bear someone who is intimate with me physically and mentally call me ugly. many people have called me ugly. But i still dont wanna marry someone because i have no other choice. i dont know how to make something of my life. I think not only being muslim is of importance. Culture and language and nation are a major part.
Peace upon you Cindy,
May Allah make it easy for you. Remember we are here for temporary time period. Your body and features are just a small part of you..what you make of your life is the main objective of your being. Do not feel lonely and sad..there is a big life ahead of you as people might say but let me tell you life is too short..it will end soon. So its a good news you will not be stuck with ugly face forever but the people who tell you ugly will be stuck with their sin for calling you ugly forever if they dont repent.
Having said that, may I please ask you to look at the blessings Allah has given you..you are reading and typing messages..that means
-you can read (find out how many people are illiterate)
-you know how to use internet (some poeple dont even know what computer is)
– you are aware of Allah, so you are seeking religious advice (people are lost in this life and addicted to bad things/company just as means of finding purpose in life)
-you have a family, people who live around you (research how many people live alone and no one knew they were dead inside their house until few months after their death)
-you have hands, eyes, feet and free air to breathe (find out how much it will cost if you were to live on ventilator-thousand and thousands of US dollars)
-you have attained 25 years of age (people die in infancy, or die with dreams in their eyes)
-you are protected within your family, look at homeless people who live and die on streets..Let me assure you that people like you do not lack social skill, they just dont talk much or interact with people..it is perfectly fine and much liked by Allah.
My sister in Islam find purpose in life. You have Quran and sunnah. Look at what Allah wants from you..trust Allah and He will bring sustenance to your doorstep either it be a proposal or your other things in life
No one is ugly and I urge you to take this out or your mind as early as possible..ugliness is in character not looks..the more pure of heart and character you are the more beautiful you are..so improve your character, read good books and share it with people and be nice to the people..InshaAllah they will see past your face and into your heart and call you the most beautiful girl..as far as getting married goes, keep standards sisters!! you want a pure person and you have time to wait..have patience and do good deeds and stay away from any/all evil and Allah will reward you with a good spouse. He will become intimate with you because for him you will be beautiful inward and outward..
May Allah forgive me if I said anything wrong and may He accept my effort and reward us if my message contains any good.
Sister in Islam
Respond to as,
Sorry for the delayed response.
Can you please resend your question..
Peace upon you brother jobayer,
I ask you to change your views/opinion regarding finding a spouse and follow the Sunnah steps for getting married and biiznillah he will grant your wish and bless you with a prosperous life.
You cannot talk freely with a non mahrem girl before marriage and it is not important to love each other before you get married. Infact it is a trap of Shaitan to keep you away from halal relationship and prolong the haram deeds/actions.
Start your search when you are ready to settle in life and meanwhile seek knowledge, do good deeds and stay away from any/all evil.
May Allah forgive me if I said anything wrong and may He accept my effort and give if my message contains any good.
@dmire
m 23 years old muslim girl m not able to get married everytym we do engagement it breaks off coz the ppl are fraud n they are interested in our property.as m the only daughter n i dont have my dad or any siblings..my mother is an old age woman..shez not being well..my relatives are also creating trouble in proposals coz they too are behind money..even though we are not very rich.they want our house which we are living in coz its already known to every1 that am the only inhertitant of watever my mom have with her..m scared donno wat to do.my relatives being my neighbours they have a very easy chance of playing with my life.please suggest me wat step i should take..
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The world is a big place & there are Muslims living in many parts of the world. Marry someone who isn’t from your city or country who wouldnt care about your possessions or has more to give you but everything is in the hands of Allah, so pls be patient & pray for Allah to show you the right path.
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Alhamdolillah I am Muslim man more introduction e-mail address. hajigul809@gmail.com
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Assalam alaikum, Im interested and im maxillofacial surgeon from Bangalore. If you are still not married then i request you to call me on+91 8892772434. dr.ks.moinuddin@gmail.com. Allah hafiz.
I am 28 years old and had been a brilliant student (a gold medalist), and have a decent job. I support my family financially. We come from a weak financial background, and because I am a little fat, no one sends me a proposal. When I was studying, I got a few proposals from divorcees with children but I refused at that time because I was in a relationship with a man for 6 years, but he eventually married someone else after making promises to me. Recently, I was introduced to a guy by a friend of mine and we got along well, so he proposed to me and I said yes. However, he started emotionally abusing me, suppressing me, doubting my character and started asking for sinful demands that I could not fulfill. He then fought with me over a non-issue and left me forever, even though I was preparing for the big day. No I feel totally lonely, dejected. Everyone demeans me for having a bad fate and bad looks (although I am fine looking, but just a little fat, and I am working on it). However, I feel bad about myself and I have actually started hating myself because of the dejection. Although I pray regularly, and seek forgiveness and ask for a suitable man so that I can prevent myself from sinning, I am gradually losing hope. What do I do?
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Although it may seem like the end of the world to you at the moment but soon this test will pass. Be patient. Allah has made someone fitting for you that you still haven’t found as yet but rest assured he’s out there looking for you. Be positive.
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Hi my name is froogh i am muslim i have 19 yers old i live in Afghanistan i sutady in kaule univercity i am look for marrigen l want see you thinks that is my mobil number +93782921166
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I want marrigen wite indan muslim girls
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Alhamdolillah I am Muslim man more introduction hajigul809@gmail.com
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Assalam alaikum, Im maxillofacial surgeon from Bangalore. Im interested in. If you are not married yet, please contact/mail me.+91 8892772434. dr. ks.moinuddin@gmail.com. Allah hafiz..
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Pseudonym i feel your pain. I hope inshallah you have since found your happiness in both deen and duniya ameen.
I am md mojahed khan iam 29 year old live in kuwait iam unmarried if any muslim unmarride girl intersted in marreig so plz contact my email mohamedmojhedkhan@gmail.com
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Asswailkumsalaam
I am md mojahed khan indian iam 29 year old live in kuwait iam unmarried if any muslim unmarride indain girl intersted in marreig so plz contact my email mohamedmojhedkhan@gmail.com
i want to marry insha’Allah , i live in UK , Im 42 , but I look hardly a day older than 32. Allah has blessed me with a youthful appearance at my age. Looking for a nice Woman.
I want to to fulfill this wonderful sunnah of nikah , insha’Allah.
my email : sufism@outloo.com
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Great Abdullahi
I am Zunaira butt, 28, living in pakistan, i m interested to get married, i was working in a school from last 5 years bt ve left nw, want to know more about u
I am md mojahed khan i am 30year old and iam work in kuwait my work is electrician in amrican miltri camp kuwait my home twon bidar karnataka india iam intrested to get marrid i need a suni muslim girl 24 to 28 year old my english not good so any mistek sory
this is the age of dajjal and men are afraid to marry women coz women are not respecting husband.is there a muslim girl who wants to live a complete islamic sharia life i am male 30 contact me if any interested great_thinker2000@yahoo.com
Salaam
I wanted to marry a girl of my choice my parents and the girls parents agreed for our marriage But my mom is of dominating nature I don’t want the girl to suffer in future what should I do in this situation.
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You should support your wife. Trust her and don’t doubt what she says to u ever. Keep ur mother out of ur personal affairs and if ur mother persists then just make it clear that u cannot tolerate any interference. Also let ur wife have the relationship with ur mother which is comfortable for her. If she doesn’t talk a lot or gets involved with her then let her. In these cases distance is good.
Asak.
Brother get married with her. Allah will make things easy inshallah. You have to live your life not your mother.
Sister in Islam
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@ Samina..are you admin or moderator on this blog??.. i have a request
Throughtout university i was extremely interested in getting married settling down having kids. However the girl is currently pursuing her university education. So plans got delay by about 1-2 years. In all honesty ive lost interest in marriage and dont think i require a partner anymore
Marriage is a religious obligation just as any other. If you are seeking the pleasure of Allah then you should keep you enthusiasm alive or try to figure out a way to marry soon instead of the delaying it.
If a man or women can’t get married, is cause allah want them single, you can’t fight the will of allah, if allah want you single, you will never be able to get married, no matter how many times you try, even if you try a million of times, thats why i gived up, until i die i go to jahanam.
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Hey
Salam my name is froogh i have 19 yers old i live in Afghanistan country i studay in kabul univercity i want marred wite indan beautiful girls that is my wash so any beautiful girls want marred me i want see him that is my mobil number +93782921166 i have sample live Allah wite me frooghnawab@yahoo.com thinks
+919880058549
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Salam.u can contact me .my e mail is chrizwansikander@gmail.com. i m also looking for life partner.i m from lahore pakistan.i m 34 years old.thnkx
Asalamualaikum , I’m caring for my elderly mother as my father has passed away and am the youngest child who is unmarried hasn’t got much responsibility other than full time work. This is preventing me from getting married as moving away would mean that my mother would be alone and there are no unmarried practising brothers left where I live. Is it better to fulfill half your deen by getting married or taking care of an elderly parent?
Looking forward to a response
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Allah knows the answer but I hope you stayed and looked after your mother. Allah give her health. Ameen. Jannat is under her feet. If you can marry, have a contract that that stipulates after Nikkah, you reside with you mother to attend to her and see your husband as required.
Thank u soo much… I didn’t want to do marriage cause I didn’t have interest in it . But this post made a clear way for me to be successful in the world n day of judgment. . Marriage is half iman n I will act upon it… God bless u
[…] Marriage in Islam – if one chooses not to marry or is … – Marriage in Islam – if one chooses not to marry or is unable to get married. Marriage in Islam – if one chooses not to marry or is unable to get married…. […]
Asalamualikum!
i am saja student of MBBS 3rd year 21years old, i got engaged like 2 years back, to avoid sin i wanted to do nikkah but my fiance is in 2nd year he is not stable financially he lives in malaysia while i am living in Pakistan he has 2 years to pass out, to avoid sin can we do nikkah meanwhile i live in Pakistan with my parents and he live in Malaysia because he comes twice a year to Pakistan, maybe after nikkah i can spend my summer vacations with him because our parents are stable Alhamdolilah, kindly respond me as possible thanks.
[…] Marriage in Islam – if one chooses not to marry or is … – Assalamalikum, I am 33 years old female and not yet married. I have few spots on my left arm that are diagnosed by some doctor’s as leukoderma, some say they are …… […]
[…] Marriage in Islam – if one chooses not to marry or is … – selam you should look for a match yourself in addition to tour mother. I am trying to get married too and i have some kidney issues so i dont fast alhumdullah fast on …… […]
i need hot women far marriage
wa alekum asalam I am very happy after read your interesting for me I am haji gul from Pakistan I pray to Allah Allah give you good health soon as soon my private email address hajigul809@gmail.com please you contact with me by email
So for an outcast like myself who has been battling with homosexual torment his entire life, celibacy is the best option. I got married and it ended it disaster 8 years later, I couldn’t have any intimacy with her and we ruined her life. I’d have a quiet life avoiding these urges rather than trying to force myself to be something I’m not. Islam is flexible but society has shunned people like me away. There is no help anywhere. Good luck to those who do get married you deserve happiness, which I’ll probably never see.
I’m a 40 yr old lady & never been married yet. I have condition that much of my hair has fallen out. So how can I marry a man, then take hijab off and he don’t get to see beautiful hair? I will make him sick! that makes me scared to marry a man. I feel like such a loser. All the sisters look at me like a outcast because they don’t know the reason why I’m not married. I wish & prayed for Allah to send me but no one wants me, & even if they did, they will reject as soon as I tell them my hair condition. I realize this is my test to be all alone in this world. And no man to fend for me or protect me.
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Assalamualikum, can I know details about you? I want to share some ideas if you like
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Sure, What details you wish to know? I forgot to mention that I’m not ugly. I’ve been told by many sisters that I have great figure that men love; as I’m well endowed female. I take care of myself, I’m clean, & dress well. You would not know looking at me that I have this condition. But I prayed that Allah send me man that would be understanding of my condition but I don’t think they would. I have had so many proposals lately, but I turned them all down because I’m scared they will be angry after they see my hair. I don’t care if my husband would be very ugly. I just want a husband that’s righteous, with soft white heart. This Eid the same sisters asked why I’m not married. Sisters look at me like I’m some type of rebel:-(…… Ya Allah please help me!!! I have had several Islamphobic incidents happen to me lately, And even now I have a neighbor that constantly vandalizes my car and taunt me, but I have no man to help me! I just had man looking through my window two days ago! Trying to see me undress!!!!!! Who will help me? I have Allah as my Maula (Patron, protector, support ) He is my everything.
I have desire to kiss man, & make sex, hold hands, but this not going to happen. Please make Dua for me! Please!
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Salam Alaikum. If you don’t mind getting married with a Nigerian. I can assist
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Drink carrot juice and put olive and coconut oil with first surah recitation on your hair and scalp. You will get cure with Allah’s blessing. Thank you
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Assalam alaikum, Im maxillofacial surgeon from Bangalore India . Im 35-year-old, better looking Muslim male. I have a personal problem. As you are from US, you can judge me better. If you are still not married then i request to consider my proposal. Im 5′.11” wheatish to fair, athletic, trustworthy, modest Sunni hanafi Muslim . Nothing so serious about the personal problem i have. I dua Allah to settle my marriage issue soon. Thankyou. Allah hafiz.
AsslamuAlaikum,
I am 27 years old man, i dont want to get married because i am an insecure person with big Ghaira and looking at the world today i am utterly disgusted, i hate unusual non mahram male female interactions and have left universities and workplaces due to this.
Having said this i do have have strong sexual feelings and i cant get rid of them due to which i masterbate at times. Now in the above article it says that it becomes necessary to marry if u have sexual urges.
Please is my reason valid to avoid marriage, i get really depressed when i think about my afterlife where i may be questioned for marriage.
Assalamualaikum !
correction ! ! !
according to Sahih Hathis someone could fast on friday but he’ll have to fast along with thursday or fast on friday along with saturday, fast only friday is prohibitted not friday.
salaam I’m a 29 year old muslim male. I have chosen to never marry because i suffer from depression and have suicidal thoughts. I am worthless and don’t deserve a wife. I am planning on living my life in the wilderness and worshipping Allah in solitude until I die
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I hope you seek help brother. Make friends with your depression so you can control it and instead of it controlling you. Will keep you in my duas.
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I know this is late but please don’t do that, I was in the same boat as you are, I don’t know, maybe you’re better now? If not, I can try to help you through this
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I know this post is very late but hopefully someone reads this. I am a 23 year old female currently working on my bachelors in the medical field. I want to get married but I have one major problem that a lot of people like to dismiss somehow: I am severely underweight to the point of looking anorexic but I am not alhamdulilah I love food too much lol but I’ve had this issue since I can remember and it interferes with my life tremendously. It saddens me to think that I can never be intimate with a man because of my health issue and I don’t know what to do. Even though I am in school, I don’t think I can work with my degree after I graduate either because I am not physically capable right now so I guess my life is a mess all around? Make dua for me please
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Assalam alaikum, IM a. Modest trustworthy Muslim, maxillofacial surgeon from Bangalore India. IM interested in this. I request you madam to consider this. +91 8892772434. dr.ks.moinuddin@gmail.com thankyou, Allah hafiz..
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Salam Isa,
I know what depression feels like. I notice this comment was from last year. Was wondering how you’re holding up now?
Im not yet married im 26 yrs old male.I got a really bad habbit of masturbation.I know its a sin but i can’t help it.Im trying to stop it.Im more focusing on namaz so pray for my good furure.
reflecting wht sounds right to me..i’m 31..guy..muslim..Pakistan..bestowed with all things good..earning good n living a dream life ( tht u cant live without friends 😉 )..decided not to marry for life since was 17..no broken heart effect or any such thing exists in this decision background…
The primary n only authentic source..The Holy Quran says:
1. “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty. That is purer for them, verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do.”
2. “Nor come nigh to fornication/adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).”
3. “Except from their spouses or what they possess rightfully then indeed, they (are) not blameworthy. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those [they] (are) the transgressors ”
so my friends..religiously..i think i’m free as long as i know my limits..
moreover no such medical condition as stated in above posts/comments matter religiously…..Roomi said “ur beauty is ur soul rest is all clay”
to sum up ..peace be on those who follow true guidance 🙂
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@aftab I liked the way you think.can i know you more in person…i am muslim female 24..and i donot want to marry at all…..due to mny reasons……some tyms i thnk if my parents forced me il take divorce eventually….i am very much dsapointed by the guys these days n how parents believe them and hand over their daughters for eternal suffering….but toughst thing to cater isto handle sexual desire…n obviously u cnt just give your whole self to another guy for just physical needs….! Things are messed up…
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@naj khan ..thx for ur words n honored to have ur presence…
i knw abt me is tht i do not exist n even if i do..nothing lasts forever..
we been frnds since long..in strangerland..u forgot i guess :p ..
u can ask for anything abt me since i’m no secret..lol
in my understanding..putting ur trust in someone is always risky, but accepting that trust from someone is even harder..
willingnss to sacrifice for one another makes a frndly n lovly couple…
willingnss to sacrifice is most needed n least found often..
like u said..sexual desire is undoubtedly among the most powerful n compelling of desires…being logic n guarantor of existance n survival of human race..
overtime one may develop patience with it by socializing or avoiding being alone …
keeping oneself busy..trying to avoid picking n thinking deep on sexual thoughts..n things like tht helps alot..
bt only with help from Lord one can handle it..
i heard tht fasting helps ..personally i prefer eating drinking driving smokin n having fruitful time being with frnds… 🙂 -
Wow it was unexpected to get so profound reply.thanks fr that.and yes we could be frnds in some “pichla janam “typ world…it was nice answer though…i asked too directly i think..i nvr thought il get repl on this blog.:p
Yes i agree one can control such thoughts by fasting.socializing..
at some point sometimes we do want that very person that love thing…..but thn again fear of being bound scares the hell out of me…
But inshort i have reached to a point that i fear being married…em from pakistan as well n u knw how tough it is for ladies, to take stand for such decsions…
Its very complex matter….i dun know how things will be sorted out…… -
N i really like these words of yours.
” that i donot exist and if i do nothing exist “ -
appreciating the undeserving makes him feel inflated…like a big balloon…thx fr being nice …
i opine in reference particulrly to pakistan or in general to muslim world..tht Islam based
on teachings of Quran differ from Islam practised by muslim societies ..bt good news is
tht we wont b held accountable fr deeds of muslim or non-muslim societies..
who knows?? if ur (would be) companion instead of drawing boundaries fr u..happens to be a supportive person ..in ur way of life..
at times its better to gamble…without fear to lose..
yup ..its tough on ladies to take such decision the world over..since life goes on n on n is known to have many turns..one cant foresee beyond tht turn ..until its reached..
n thank me with cash ..if u hve to :p -
Well there is no flattering buttering its just tht u hv showed v wise usage of words…n right words work as magic i believe..
N i m hardest person to bear.evn i cnt tolerate my self some times..i found sumbdy rebel as my self…but he is with God now..i hv understood my self i cnt stay wth any body…n thts y i hate marrying now….m so afraid of being bound with “boy” that have grwn up in age only…
N hw cn i thank u in cash ?? How about prayers…:D its not a bad sauda…! -
pleased to hear.. tht u love ur life more thn love…
n tht u like being in state of war with urself..
like i think of myself being a lil schizophrenic.. frm where i come, pious people teach their youth to swear only if ‘chaar paisay’ involved..people r different n complex to read though..
ws feeling like a billionaire in one of my frnds company..bt she happens to b a bakheel kuri..my words as if work like magic..i would have instantly turned u into a churail…lol
request fr remmbrance in prayers.. -
Vekh Fareeda Mitti khulli,
Mitti Uttay Mitti Dulli.
Mitti Hassay, Mitti Rovay,
Anatt Mitti da Mitti Hovay.
Naan kar Bandiya Meri Meri,
Naan ay teri naan ay Meri.
Chaar Dinan da Mela Dunya,
Phir Mitti di ban gai Dheri.
Na kar eithay hera pheri,
Mitti naal na dhoka ker tu
Too V miti, Oo V mitti.
Zaat paat di gal na kar tu,
Zaat v mitti, tu v mitti.
Zaat sirf Khuda di Uchhi,
Baqi sb kuch mitti, mitti….
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Wow…!u amaze me…not much…cz i hv goten idea tht u cnt answer me clearly n thts good..:p ..well if u are really out to hlp how about hlping needy girls wd cigars…;) but truth is m impressd by wrds already n knwldg n hw u answer…i hvn dne tht research ever tht who wrote those lines in novel….but those lines arnt wrong…..at all…..n ryt nw m in bit hurry…n i really dun knw wht u r doing at forum ….but i hve found nice activity over here by conversating wth such “too good with words “person….
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Well…once i prefrd love…more than life…but with time i discovrd that we shouldnt waste our energy who dont desrv it….but m driven by love….n my sensor is so much activated that its hard to be with anybdy who is not worth it…
“Bakheel kuri ” is this intented for me?
N m already a tough person…who contradicted wd me said me churail n stuff….but i dun mind…..n nw m really concerned….that what made you say that i should pay in cash…and yet again bakheel kuri :p m sure u dunt belong to lootera gang sitng on internt fooling girls….. :p pardon me if i crossd line…but i thought its imp to know..n how come u are activated at this forum…-
Have you read those lines, m sure u have had…from some urdu novel..i guess umera ahmed…what is next to pain?estacy…n what is next to estacy…hell…some thing like this…m likly in tht state…..
I guess only death can silnce my tormnted heart…othrwse ab chain nhi ana… -
i learned through exposure tht cash too has some form of energy..which drives people to do crazy things..n makes u more of wht u already are..whether greedy or loving..
many are worth loving n vry few are trust worthy…i would love to learn frm u how u figure it out..who is worth this n who is worth tht…i ain’t worth a penny though..
gogo gang belongs to me n is committed to helping in hour of dire need…like offering cigarettes to homeless people..ensuring provision of easyload to needy girls..n stuff
seriously…vry wise is to ask wht am i doing here.i really dnt knw wht this forum is selling to people..n wht am i here to buy…surely i knw tht i dnt belong here..where do i belong thn? can u help?..lol
would u please like to b fooled by a stupid like me?..forgive if hurt..
insha ji said..
dewano si na baat kry
to aur kry dewana kya.. -
when baba fareed wrote these lines..umera ahmed’s great great grandfather was a cute lil kid :p..google told me abt her…novels aint worth my read
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Wow…!u amaze me…not much…cz i hv goten idea tht u cnt answer me clearly n thts good..:p ..well if u are really out to hlp how about hlping needy girls wd cigars…;) but truth is m impressd by wrds already n knwldg n hw u answer…i hvn dne tht research ever tht who wrote those lines in novel….but those lines arnt wrong…..at all…..n ryt nw m in bit hurry…n i really dun knw wht u r doing at forum ….but i hve found nice activity over here by conversating wth such “too good with words “person….and certianly i was missing too hve some twisted guftugu wth anybody..i cn feel my self sick nw.posting again ths comnt cz i cn see thread is getting too long and unbalanced now
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tht reflects ur intellect..
thx fr ur time
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Welcome :).i some times prefer to say whts in my mind and so is everybdy free to do..either you or me or anybdy else ,most of people speak on bhalf of their experiences.n yes so i really prefrd to dscs what i thnk i felt..u r free to judge my intellect Nd so m i. nothing is absolute perfect….there are perspectives to thngs and things do fluctuate.i guess i felt bit sad ..but i shouldn care much..thnks for ur time as well.AH
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being finance professional….yup things do fluctuate…since only change is parmanent..
y would i judge u?..being a frnd?..even if u judge me…people have been mistaken n will b mistaken in their judgement..
tht this forum is no place to say all this.. is sure fact.. n surely reflects ur intellect :p..
i lost my numbr.. can i have urs?…sharing makes u caring..people say..lol :p…
i’m a well known bad guy..does tht matter to u?
ws this reply unnecessary n trivial?…if so..wont happen again..
may b..u look pretty when sad..am i trying to b too frank n chipkoo ?..like uninvited guest..
peace be with u -
when i say…u look pretty when sad..i mean :
naaz hai gul ko nazakat py chaman mai ay dost
uss ny dekhy hi nhi naaz O nazakat walay :p
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Ok..i donot get….this sentnce of urs , my intellect….i mean whts according to u is my intellect…? And what exactly showed you my intellect….?
And…whts not to be dscsd on this forum ?
N i lost mine number ..cn i hve urs ..? Sharing is caring .-
I bet u r really smart. I also bet u r in grade 10..lol.. i mean, wow… r u serious ??
ur or anyone’s intellect refers to mind’s ability to come to precise conclusions abt wht is true or real, and determining a solution to deal with it…whn never faced such a situation before..
u r intelligent enough to knw tht tomato is a fruit..not putting it in fruit salad reflects ur intellect or wisdom..(in a public forum fr discussion on religion) If u aren’t capable of distinguishing fallacious reasoning from non-fallacious reasoning, dnt come here, read a book instead :p …
do i knw u?..not even ur name…so i dnt expect u to feel insulted at all, since u know it’s totally fake .. lol
i do hve respect fr u .. -
thread is starting to look like chat site..so i’m gonna ask fr ur leave lady..indeed ur company ws worth remmbrance..
many thnks 🙂
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Jazakumllahu kairan
I am 33 year old man can I marry a 25 year old girl is it allowed
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no it is not allowed!!! hehehe
Good citings and Duah for marriage prospecs. It’s not easy.
I’m 36 and not married. I have tried seeking a partner in many ways. My issue is that do not think I can like with a women. And no, I am not gay! It’s not a commitment issue. I just don’t seem to be able to like someone enough to marry or spend my life with. Alhamdulillah I have had many suitors who have wanted to marry me but never find the right person for me. It seems to a large degree I prefer living on my own. I really wana settle to avoid sin but do not know what to do. I do Istikhara about prospective partners I’ve met but get no response through dreams and feelings. I do not want to hurt someone. Rather be alone. Please do dua for me. Please. Wasalaam.
Salaam, I’m a 36 year old man who is born and brought up in Canada. I’m good looking and have a great personality and am a practicing Muslim but just cannot get married. I have made D’ua for years and haven’t met the right one yet. Am open to meeting someone:
shawn.grazianno@gmail.com
Thanks
Asalamualaikum. I will be 37 soon alhamdhulillah. I have been divorced for more than 10years with no children alhamdhulillah. I am educated and a medical professional majoring in both respiratory & sleep medicine in paediatrics alhamdhulillah. I am considered attractive by some alhamdhulillah and of medium built in alhamdhulillah good health. I do not commit zina alhamdhulillah. To date I have not found a suitable groom. My families friends well wishers alhamdhulillah have searched in atleast six or more countries. My father even said sunni or shia. I do not get the desire to sin or commit zina because between work and my postgrad studies all i desire is sleep or eat and sometimes time with family friends or TV. I do cry to Allah SWT but have decided to accept celibacy because would be natural for me as that is how I have been living for few years now. So would celibacy be permissible for me?
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As i stated in above post. Since i chose to stay on path of innocent kid instead of growing up a little.. in my understanding..celibacy is permissible (if not preferable) as long as me or you or anyone doesnt trespass and doesnt seek beyond limits. May some lovely guy find his princess in you ..
*Being doctor has always been attractive and holds enough charm n prestige*
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Jazakallah khayran for reading my response and replying. I am not a physician but a physiologist so one step down but majoring in two diciplines. I have always wanted to marry and have kids but after all I have been through it seems like I have forgotten I am a woman and a man is a man. To me all is the same and theres no attraction no passion no desire left. I am divorced because my husband was still occupied with his ex-girlfriend. It was an arranged marriage. His parents wanted me. Then after him I was single for a long while before I met the man who had promised to love me marry me when he found out I can not tolerate zina he slept with every blonde he came across and when I confronted him he hit me very badly. Four years I waited patiently that my dua would change him. But he broke my confidence in me. If you collected all my tears, my pain and duas you could have a little river. The last 10 to 15 years have been hell but two thoughts kept me going there is Allah immaterial when or how He answers and my parents immaterial their faults or failings did not bring me healthy into this world or provide for my basic necessities and education so that I give up. I am weak I cry I break down but I keep dragging myself through life because I believe my life belongs to everybody connected in any littlest way to me. I owe it to all these people to not give up, to still be the same person or better if I can inshallah both inside and out. And people like you give me the support to keep on going. It is more important for me to have Allah’s love and mercy and to be a good daughter, sister, friend, colleague and clinician. If I can improve one life in my life my job as a human is done. It is just like being married to me in terms of trying to complete deen.
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On an added note yes you are right. If people want me for their son it is usually because of my professional status or dual citizenships. On saying that yes I too would like to marry someone equally educated so that he feels like a man and never diminished in front of me but immaterial what field medical or whatever. It is more essential he understand my hectic schedule. I will never my profession. I have learnt through my divorce it is important for a woman to be able yo support herself in an honourable way. Besides I love it and it is my parents dream for me fullfilled. So celibacy suits me to a “T”. Its clean, stress-free, cheap, free easy life albeit lonely but then if I was with a man I probably would not talk to Allah SWT so naturally as if He was right in front of me.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:It is not permissible for anyone to forbid that which Allaah has made permissible, such as women (marriage), food or anything else, because Allaah, may He be exalted, said:
“O you who believe! Make not unlawful the Tayyibaat (all that is good as regards foods, things, deeds, beliefs, persons) which Allaah has made lawful to you, and transgress not. Verily, Allaah does not like the transgressors”
[al-Maa’idah 5:87]
Some of the Sahaabah wanted to be celibate and keep away from women, but the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade them to do that, and Allaah revealed this verse.
Ibn Jareer narrated with his isnaad that Mujaahid (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Some men, including ‘Uthmaan ibn Maz’oon and ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr (may Allaah be pleased with them) wanted to be celibate, and to castrate themselves, then this verse was revealed.
Al-Bukhaari (5074) and Muslim (1402) narrated that Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade ‘Uthmaan ibn Maz’oon to be celibate. If he had given him permission, we would have gotten ourselves castrated.
Remaining celibate, getting castrated and regarding women as haraam are all haraam. This is turning away from the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who got married and encouraged others to get married.
Al-Bukhaari (5063) and Muslim (1401) narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Allaah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allaah, I am the one who fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5063) and Muslim (1401).
Thus is it clear that no one has the right to forbid women (marriage) to himself.
Thirdly:
Whoever has done that has to repent to Allaah, may He be exalted, and he has to offer expiation for breaking an oath, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Prophet! Why do you forbid (for yourself) that which Allaah has allowed to you, seeking to please your wives? And Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful.
2. Allaah has already ordained for you (O men) the absolution from your oaths”
[al-Tahreem 66:1-2]Allaah has described the forbidding of something permissible as an oath.
See: al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (10/475).
The expiation for breaking an oath is to free a slave, or to feed ten poor persons with the average kind of food that he gives his own family, or to clothe them. Whoever cannot do that must fast for three days.
This has been explained in detail in the answer to question no. 45676.
Fourthly:
The ruling on marriage varies from one person to another, according to financial and physical ability and how much a person needs to get married. In some cases it is obligatory and in others it is mustahabb or makrooh. See question no. 36486.
And Allaah knows best.
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Assalam alaikum, as im also a maxillofacial surgeon from Bangalore India, i can understand the pain & sufferings., particularly on the path of sunnah. I address all ladies as mam. Im 5′.11”, Wheatish to fair, athletic, trustworthy, modest Sunni Muslim, from respectful family. Please feel free to connect+91 8892772434. dr.ks.moinuddin@gmail.com If you are not married yet, please consider my proposal. Waiting for reply. Thankyou. Allah hafiz…
thx fr being open n sharing ur thoughts..ur focus on hardwork n willingnss to face challenging times with grace is quite inspiring..as far as i can see..being married may constitute in a certain way happiness to some, and sorrow for others..marriage is no magic trick so all depends on one’s attitude towards life..so its good to evaluate wht u want in life..lonelinss is a state of mind. One can be married or with a crowd of people and still feel lonely..if celibacy realy suits u to a ‘T’..have a circle of friends and ur own money n b a popular kid among frnds..travel alot n hangout wth frnds…One has to live enjoy alone then die alone thats what life is all about..
since people r different..some say ‘if you find a husband/wife who you truly love, marriage is better..It has to be true love, or else it is nothing but hardships’..others say ‘There is no such thing as “true love”, every love is true’..some think tht ‘ with marriage come all types of hassles n heart attack’..others think ‘marriage got something to do with love..something not just to b said, bt also to b shown’..
i do admit tht i’m no religious person or scholar..so being a sinner my knowledge n wisdom concerning marriage is limited and so is my experience..
to sum up…..Roomi said “be empty of worrying, think of who created thought”..
have fruitful time
stay higher
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Jazakallah for ur reply. I take one day at a time but u r the first person to have elevated its definition by using the word inspiring even if it was used casually. Jazakallah. I told u I waited 4yrs. 2hrs ago he told me via phone from Shiraz he has moved on. I was broken still am but your message has inspired me. Your words are always profound. May Allah grant u wisdom and happiness always inshallah and may you share it around inshallah. Ameen.
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I liked the way you think.can i know you more in person…i am muslim female 24..and i donot want to marry at all…..due to mny reasons……some tyms i thnk if my parents forced me il take divorce eventually….i am very much dsapointed by the guys these days n how parents believe them and hand over their daughters for eternal suffering….but toughst thing to cater isto handle sexual desire…n obviously u cnt just give your whole self to another guy for just physical needs….! Things are messed up…
I’m not able to marry I have a problem in home my parents can’t marry me in I’m still 21 can i use a slave girl Please give me correct and right suggestion its urgent
Hi I’m shah from london I’m 33 years of age fit and energetic men who didn’t wanted to get married in past because I want to travel the world which I almost have but still adventures compare to men I see even younger then me. Every family member in the house hold is married with kids even my younger brother. Sometimes I wonder how it’s like to be married and having a family.
In’shAllah I plan to get married one day. If anyone interested please get in touch.
Hi I’m shah from london I’m 33 years of age fit and energetic men who didn’t wanted to get married in past because I want to travel the world which I almost have but still adventures compare to men I see even younger then me. Every family member in the house hold is married with kids even my younger brother. Sometimes I wonder how it’s like to be married and having a family.
In’shAllah I plan to get married one day. If anyone interested please get in touch.
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The msg has sent till not came once again I ask for my proper answer. Please give me an correct answer. My parents doesn’t marry me in early age because I’m still 21 I have a financial but my family doesn’t marry. Can I keep an slave girl?
SubhanAllah
Salaam,
I’m all so in search of a wife so if anyone interested please feel free to email me at haroonsadique@hotmail.co.uk
Wish you all the best
And in sha Allah I will start fasting Jazakallah for this information
Salaam.
Haroon (UK)
Salam..
….lot of ppl like me here who wanna get married. Or searching for a partner ..everyone is under the same situation …
Well never to get panic ..Allah knows better when, where and how to give us a gift of jannah .
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Do not cheat people.
Salam..
….lot of ppl like me here who wanna get married. Or searching for a partner ..everyone is under the same situation …
Well never to get panic have Patience ..Allah knows better when, where and how to give us a gift of jannah .
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Do not cheat. do not lie. U will get what u throw.
Well..thnks…
Bdw i din think tht i dscsd religuous matter? Bdw it is religious thread..
N here ur estimation is not bit right…m an Architect by profession alhumduLILLAH,being finance professionl u knw about this field.m bit sure..But may be cmpring wd ur intellect m just a grl in metric.and hw cn i enhance my intelct acrding to u ?..but my comnts for this are enf..
N inded cnversation wd u is wrth remembring…Allah hafiz
I know this post is very late but hopefully someone reads this. I am a 23 year old female currently working on my bachelors in the medical field. I want to get married but I have one major problem that a lot of people like to dismiss somehow: I am severely underweight to the point of looking anorexic but I am not alhamdulilah I love food too much lol but I’ve had this issue since I can remember and it interferes with my life tremendously. It saddens me to think that I can never be intimate with a man because of my health issue and I don’t know what to do. Even though I am school, I don’t think I can work either because I am not physically capable right now so I guess my life is a mess all around? Make dua for me please
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Hey sister I know it’s been 5 months you’ve posted your message, if your reading this? Hope you get well soon and hope you find your other half ameen
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Salaam Sister.
I hope things are picking up for you. Please ensure you get any medical treatment you need. In Sha Allah there will be a man for you. Please make sure he is what you “need” (someone who accepts you as you are) and not someone you “want” (someone you think is nice”.
Keep up Zikr. When anyone rejects you for the way you are, tell yourself “Allah loves me” and smile to yourself”. My duas are also with you. I pray to Allah that whenever someone dismisses you the way you are, Allah gives them hidayah and strengthens you. Ameen
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Assalamoalikum
I am a certified physician. Currently working in pakistan. My age is 29 and am looking for a relegious girl.
You can contact me through my email
zubairkhan.sawi@gmail.com-
Where you from?
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Today marriage has became actually a joke and fun for many.
There are so many men who are not just able get married because they lack education while women may she be educated or not, women is able to get married but men are not.
If a man wants to get married he must have secure job, higher education qualification and good earnings.
If a man lack these two thing but has good earning he said to be a person who just increase weight on earth.
On the other hand if he has secure job and High qualification but does not good earning then he become a donkey for his wives, a donkey which get nothing but only trouble from everywhere.
One interesting thing is that no women/men wants religious husband/wife they just want high qualification from USA, Canada, UK etc.
The main problem is that we forgot what Our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said.
Prophet and his companions life show so many example but we run for worldly gain.
Today 99%-94.44% women want his husband to be handsome, good looking etc. but only 1%-5.01% women say we want a religious husband.
There so many relatives and family friends of mine who died as bachelors because either they lack undergraduate ,postgraduate degrees but had good earnings or they have undergraduate ,postgraduate degrees but lack good earnings.
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Bro refrain from generalising and suggesting that good man cannot find spouse and thus belittling the agony our sisters are also facing. If you read this page of comments by everybody, you will enlightened by how many sisters are in a bad situation and do not forget sunnah culture society have different rules to govern a woman unlike the ones for a man. Trials come to both alike bro – man and woman. Inshallah the misery that the men are facing in your family come to an end. Ameen. And likewise I pray that inshallah Allah swt our Ya Mujeebo Ya Lateefo Ya Wadoodo Ya Waliyo Ya Hayyu Ya Qayyumo grants all the sis and bro spouses who complete their deen with them. Ameen ameen sumah ameen.
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Agreed every word you said.
I think it is time things should change. Women should act like women not like men and men should take charge. I donot mean in a negative but be sure of themselves, be good selves.
My sister is 34 unmarried when ever a guy or his family went to see they don’t like her because of her beauty she is not so beautiful second she did not find any job as she lives in srinagar were unemployment is big issue third she don’t have big lawn of the house fourth her cast .now you plz tell me what to do girls age is increasing people are critising her she pray 5 times keep alarm for fajar now what islam suggests her.
In the fourth paragraph, it should be “shameless manner” instead of “shameful manner”.
I’m in my 2nd year of University and im on verge of commiting zina. I teach students and can support myself but i cannot maintain the standard of life my society wants me to maintain with my current financial situation. Im the only child and my parents can support me. They insist that i be established first, (graduate, get a job) and then when i can support my own family, get married. I’m likely to fall into zina as even fasting isnt helping much. Does it fall on the parents to get their children married and support them if they can?
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Just pray and persuade your parents. My brother married a girl without our parent’s permission. They were mad at first, but today they are okay with it.
[…] Marriage in Islam – if one chooses not to marry or is … – Marriage in Islam – if one chooses not to marry or is unable to get married. Marriage in Islam – if one chooses not to marry or is unable to get married. […]
I’m 30 years old all my family members & friends are married with kids, everyone’s telling me to get married but I can’t because of my bad habits I’ve lost everything in gambling and I’m in debt so much i owe family and credit cards and other stuff, I’ve been trying to pay the debt off for last three years but I’m keep getting in to more debt. That’s why I can’t save any money for wedding, I do want to marry some one but I can’t afford it I’m a loser in every way, I hope Allah helps me get back on my feet and helps me to stop gambling asap I really need a women in my life
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Salam Shahed,
I’m sorry to see you like this, I feel your pain. But I promise you, if you just Ask for Allah’s forgiveness sincerely, and read this du’aa:
اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّي أَعْوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَـمِّ وَ الْحُـزْنِ، والعًجْـزِ والكَسَلِ والبُخْـلِ والجُـبْنِ، وضَلْـعِ الـدَّيْنِ وغَلَبَـةِ الرِّجال
“O Allah, I seek refuge in you from grief and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from being overcome by debt and overpowered by men (i.e. others)”
Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) used to say this at times of anxiety or sorrow.
Read it from your heart and ponder over the true meaning of this du’aa, inshaAllah, soon Allah will relieve you of your worries. Please believe it.
Assalamualaikum. I’m 21-years old guy. I had some issue with things that has been going on, and marriage is one of them. It seems that I have lost interest in marriage, since I, myself admit that I am an antisocial, easily getting tense around people, so its hard to get to know the people without suspecting them. Because of my personal experience in the last few years, I saw only, bad things, in society, including marriage (such as, Divorce, Abortion, Suicide, etc). *What a bad example for some young folks like us, eh?
So, my question is, should I keep things as usual? Try a different things, or some advice, perhaps?
(Pardon my grammar, not really my field-of-expertise)
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Salaam Ken.
Only marry when you are ready. When that is, only Allah knows and you’ll have an idea. That may be when things are stable in your life. Being anti social, tense, suspicious is not healthy in a marriage. it will break down quick. your wife will want attention and you will not give it, and suspicion of your spouse will not help either!
First you need to come to a conclusion as to why you are anti social, tense, suspicious. I know life experiences can cause this but maybe this is something you can overcome. Maybe therapy, better still, learn more about how Islam can help you spiritually to overcome this. There are many books on manors and behavior and hadith about the consequences of being suspicious.
It does not sound like you are prepared for marriage. When you are, make sure you marry for what you “need” and not marry for what you “want”.
Hi, am 33 and not married. I got many offers in the past and i always felt i am not comfortable with the offer i am getting, that negativity. I grew up around people who are critical, am not trying to blame no one here. I wonder if it is too late to be married, and thinking to myself why compromising seem so scary. I have had many jobs before, i have a college degree but sometimes i wish i went to professional school, that way i would have felt more confident.
How can i deal with my insecurities and at least start thinking it is never too late? maybe!
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It’s not too late but be absolutely sure of what you “need” and not what you “want”. They are too different things. It is impossible to know what the other person is like.
Make a list of the real things that are important to you. The things that you need and not what you feel you want. Then search by that. We all want something beautiful. But it is not what we need. We need respect, understanding, fear of Allah, etc more than anything. Do not compromise. If so, compromise on things you would be happy to lose anyway (what you want – you’ve never had them anyway!). Never compromise on what you “need” (the things you required now).
We live in a critical world so it may not be something you can avoid, work on yourself and smile and say Alhamdulillah with conviction. As long as you have done nothing wrong to anyone, It is Allah, you want to please! Make Allah happy, and you will be happy. When people criticize you and put you down, say Alhamdulillah and smile in your heart and know that Allah loves you! 🙂 Nothing will then ever hurt or upset you. Have 100% reliance on Allah.
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Assalam alaikum, Im maxillofacial surgeon from Bangalore India. Im looking for Muslima for marriage. Im interested.+91 8892772434. Allah hafiz..
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Asalaam aleykum Hana.
It’s possible to find a good man to marry you. But please don’t be too choosy. Nobody is perfect. But also don’t be too desperate. There’s a hadith that if a man comes to you with a proposal(marriage) look at his deen & his character. If they are okay then accept the proposal. So don’t feel insecure. Just have an open mind. Keep asking Allah for help. When a man shows interest, just pray istikhara & ask Allah for guidance. Because some people pretend they are pious but after marriage the true character comes out….maybe even he doesn’t pray, drinks wine ..but Allah knows even the secret things.Am also going 34 but am still hopeful that I will get a pious muslim. I pray that Allah grants you a husband with good character, taqwa, prays all fardh & has a halal source of income.amin 🙂
My humble advice. Do not bother getting married. As a male, 37 and having married twice, it is with regret. In Islam, the man is the maintainer of women (provider etc). In return he has a certain level of obedience. You will not get this from your average muslim women. All they care about is their own families, never yours, themselves, not you. Just read the threads, males and females describing themselves as insecure, issues that will get in the way of a marriage, people marrying for education and wealth.
The best marriage is one if you marry purely for someones deen. Marrying for any other reason = doomed to fail. If you must marry, and the potential spouse is not as attractive to you, not rich, but has good manors, good heart, positive attributes, not selfish, jealous, and also compatible with you and your family, you are more likely to succeed. Remember, if you have a mother and father you have certain duties towards them. Will your wife have issues with them? Will she even bother to make an effort to get to know them? Or will she not and just want you to be with her family all the time? She will want you to stand by her side but not be there for you to stand by your side.
It always pains me how I make an effort with my wife’s family and break cultural taboos (do bits of DIY, warm up her food, not let her lift a finger when at her house, make her tea etc) and my wife can’t even so the same for my mum. I think that is because Islam teaches the daughter in law does not need to do anything for her in laws. Islam also says I don’t have to do anything for my in laws as I do but I do. It pains me to see her do this. I feel for my mum as when both mother in laws are together and my mother in law says “look at my son in law he looks after me so well”, my mum is breaking inside as her daughter in law could and never does anything for her. It breaks me too. There are no issues from my family towards her. When confronted she says she has no issue. I never ask her to do anything against sharia or Islam. I provide her with everything within my means but get no obedience. I actually married her for her conviction in deen. Sadly, not seeing much displayed. It’s typical girls stuff…look good, want want others have, blow money I don’t have. I get sick of listening to how in her family, her uncles wives have been divisive and this has impacted on the care of her grandparents. What she fails to see is she is heading down the same way. I am no way perfect but I know I have a good clean heart, one that makes me and others happy, one that treats others with respect, even strangers. I wish my wife was even 5% like that. Her hard, selfish, careless heart is like being exposed to a disease. She wanted to leave me once for reasons I would have loved to sit in a mosque and look at peoples and the Imaam’s face when she would have stated her reasons of wanting to leave me. She would have been laughed out of the mosque!
For me, I wish I’d not married. Stayed single, honored by duty to my parents, engaged in deen with no distractions. In Sha Allah, that would give me greater happiness in this dunya.
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Im a female and seems like I have experienced what you have. Inshallah you find peace and contentment and succeed in deen duniyah and aakhirah bro. What is in your taqdeer will be fulfilled either way whether you want it to or not. At the risk of sounding like a clichè or broken record, hang in there. Allah swt must have a plan for you.
Sending you dua.
Does any one have maulana Tariq Jameel’s ( pakistan)number please.
I suggest we send this long thread of our conversation to him and request him to give a speech about this topic if possible. We can see listen to his speech on YouTube InshaAllah.
Aslamualikum,
I really need some advice I’m 25 female graduated looking for job. everyone keeps pressurising me that I should get married. I don’t know what to do. a bit of background: I haven’t been practicing islam untill last year. made many many mistakes. but trying to turn a new leaf and become better. my mum and everyone around me wants me to get married and tells me im becoming old and no one will want me. there is a guy who wants to marry me we met whilst I was volunteering, we get along very well, he’s a very good man and practicing he even helped me back to islam. the problem is he’s 22 and I’m 26. he said he wants to marry me and has met my mum. my mum likes him alot. but the problem is his family are not accepting me because I’m not pathan and older… he’s determined to marry me but needs time to become stable and try his utmost with his parents. I feel stuck I don’t know what to do. I’m turning 26 in October, shall I wait for him or move on because I don’t know how much time he needs, I know he’s younger than me so it’s different for him. I feel so stuck. any advice would be appreciated.
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If he is not convincing his parents now, he will never be able to convince them. In few years you will be lot older than now. What if age 30 comes around, and he still didn’t convince his parents. Your parents and others are right, if you delay then its going to be too late. You are at a good age to get married. There is more to life than just getting along, love of in-laws adds beauty to married life. His parents already don’t like the idea and most likely will create all sorts of problems after marriage. One last comment, if he is completely determined he would not let the girl he wants to marry wait or even give chance or time to other man to marry her.
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Dont wait it out.Unfortunately age is a big issue in Pakistan and proposals stop coming as you get older.Being born a muslim is a blessing and you are blessed to be one.I would suggest look for other proposals aswell.
he said he will marry even if his parents don’t agree and no matter who he married he will not be living with them as he has other brothers who are. I just feel so disheartened this is the second time this is happening to me. I’m not good enough for the parents. first time round my mum started planning the wedding and the guy said no because of his mum. I was heartbroken it completely ruined my confidence. although he came back a few months after I didnt consider it again because he led me on for years and I grew tired. and now it’s happening again. is there a sister I could talk to in private. I really need help.
i don’t want to marry i am physically and mentally fit but still don’t want to marry. Actually i love someone and want to marry her but due to some circumstances i cant marry her due to family issues so i decided not to marry with other except her because i think i cant keep other happy, i cant share feelings and emotions with other now i have to ask two questions
1; is it the right decision
2: what Islam say according to this case
my name isahmed..age 26 software egnr ….want to ask something… that i want to do nikah so that i stay away from haram (zina) ….nd m loking for lady who do nikah and save me from doing sin….is this the rite thinking ?/ bcx there is alot of problm in family tht i donot married almost 2 to 3 years…..i want to save my self from doing haram …any one can help ….JAZAKALLAH 03368827531
Dear respected ladies,
I am a 27 year old guy, working , have a university degree, living in Rawalpindi. I would like to marry a decent girl, irrespective of background. If any girl is interested, kindly contact me through my email; khurram_choudhary@ymail.com
Thanks
hiiii… am sultana… i am interested to marry a person who is a distant relative of mine. i told my parents and he too told his parents. his parents are happy with me. but my parents are not ok with him..infact he earns well.. very much Imaan,,, and his family is good. but only thing..he doesnt look that much good.. my mother says i am very good looking and he wont match me. what should i do for this?? how can i convince my parents??
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Someone’s Deen should come before everything and anything else. Look at the persons Deen and akhlaq (manners/ the way he or she carries themself). After that, then you look at their appearance. Beauty fades with age, a beautiful heart doesn’t. If you are okay with his looks and he is a good Muslim, go for it
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Salaam sis. Your post astaghfirullah made me bit annoyed with your mum because some of us have been searching for a marriage worthy guy as per sunnah for more ten years wallah and here you are with an ideal guy ready on your doorstep. Is it not more important to your mum with all due respect that the guy loves you wants to succeed in deen duniya aakhirah with you and live a respectable life? There is blessing on your doorstep but your mum is rejecting him because the packaging is a wrong color or design! I am sorry if I am overstepping my mark but more than 10years of loneliness compels me to say something before another sister spends her nights suffocating tears in her pillow. I shall make dua that Allah swt guides you and your family through this trying time.
34 years muslim practicing above average looks, masters, pakistan. Mother passed when she was 7. No one arranged marriage for her. Shes depressed and lost confidence now and prays for a pious partner who could understand and support her to live a healthy life again.
MashAllah and I wonder why these pious men in Pakistan wont marry the girls living here?
Hi I am shaimana firdous from India.keep loving Allaha have a faith in him.yuh math kaho khudasai mushkilai badi hai in mushkilow sai kahaidow maira khuda bada hai.duwa ki guzarish.9502187814
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Assalam alaikum, well said..+91 8892772434. Im a maxillofacial surgeon from Bangalore India. Planning to getting married…
Assalamu alaikum…. I went through all the above conversations and felt even I should share my feelings over here… I am being into deep sorrow these days because I’m 25 years old girl and still single and I think it is just because I’m not good looking and I think after deen, beauty is the foremost thing that people look for… I feel very lonely and remain depressed… I do make lots of dua from my Rabb but I think my Rabb is testing me on my patience level… Please guide me as for what should I do to remain patient… I’m completely filled with sadness.
I’m 18 yrs female n i’m doing BSCS.i’m v attached with my family esp with my ammu.her desire is that I should ok to marry that guy who according to her is good for me from all perspectives but I don’t actually like him for a reason that I have analyzed this proposal many times but every time I fail to convince myself for this marriage since I feel it won’t be a good match.i am v perplexed neither I can make my mom unhappy nor I can convince in anyway to marry without having will since I believe that even in arrange marriage the person should have a right to marry if he or she is agree.
so plz tell if a person refuses to marry bcz of above mentioned reason so is that right to force he or she?
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You always have a choice to either accept or reject any proposal.Marriage cannot be forced.If it is being forced it holds no justification under islamic law.
I am a 37 years old divorcee. When i was married, my husband did not give me money. He never helped me in the house. He liked to lock himself in a separate room. I work as a teacher and he takes half of my pay for his fuel, cigerette and his mobile phone bills. I also pay for the house, the other bills and his food. Sometimes he takes money from my purse without asking. He even steals my money that i inteded to use to pay for the house. I never said a word because i believe Allah has better for me in heaven. When i was 7 months pregnant he told me that i couldnt give him the wealthy life he dreams of and had found a rich woman. After counselling for a few years and advice from family members of both sides, he divorced me. I have no problem keeping celibate. I have lost interest in men. I only focus on bringing up my son. Some time ago, a man asked if i would like to be friends with him online. I chatted with him for 3 days and discovered that he wants to marry me because he needed me to take care of his 4 children. Maybe i am a little paranoid but i felt like he was going to use me as his children’s nanny. I thought if i were to marry again, the man should not be wanting me for what i can give him. I would prefer a man who would give instead. For this reason, there are no men who fit this one criteria. So my question is, is it sinful for me to not want to marry because of this?
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You are divorced with no children.Perhaps a proposal of a man in your age group who is a divorcee and has no children will suit you better.Its upto you if you can cope with living your life being single.You can always find a man if you try.
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I have a son. Like i said, i was pregnant when he found a rich woman to give him a wealthier life. I think, my son is my top prority right now. Why should i give money or time or effort to men who does not care about my well being.
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Salaam. I am interested in getting married. I will be 38 in a fortnight. Divorced. No kids. Medical field. Aust/NZ. Desperate situations call for desperate measures ergo advertising like this. Please read my earlier comments for an overview.
What if I do not want to marry at all. I am girl. And I really do not want to get married.
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Can you state a reason for not marrying?
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If she can live a halal life within the limits prescribed by sunnah for a woman then why does need a reason. Nikkah is desirable if possible not a compulsion, atleast that is what I have established from my readings…i stand to be corrected in error.
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i am a girl 21 years. I really want to get marry for only Allah’s sakes but still can’t find a pious muslim partna. all my mind is in marry if i think of it i usd to be sad. But i belive this is a test from my Rabb. Please i need your prayers.
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Assala Aliqum Binta, I am 37 yrs old muslim unmarried man from india . A HR Professional looking a wright soul mate like angel from paradise to marry in halaal way . Allah knows better. If you are interested to marry me please feel free to contact me. Khaleel. I am ready to settle in your city.
Email- khaleelhr2jobs@gmail.com
9886124526
There is a better way getting married without financial means. This is known as zawaj almisyar and its a normal marriage where it fulfills all the requirements of the usual marriage contract( Nikkah), but the wife agrees to surrenders her rights to financial support, maintenance, and accommodation until the husband gains financial means. I find the zawaj almisyar way better type because it meet the needs of young people who dont have the financial means, so to allow a couple to express their love, intimacy, and relationship the halal way, so to prevents any sexual relations outside marriage or any illegal sexual acts. So those who do not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations, zawaj almisyar would be the best option which prevents people from falling into haram.
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Facts, I totally agree with you, this is even a better because now a days, we live in a type of society where man cant control there desire and the exposion to a lot of haram and sins, I find zawaj almisyar to be a quick solution to solve the issue.
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I am femal i do not wants to get married I am doing m tech from india.Is this permissiale to my parents force me to get marry, they said if i you dont means you wants that societywill laugh at me.Will Allah ask me at the day of judgement why you did not get married? I am confused what shoud i do now?
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How can you meet the person you love and their parents if they don’t live in the same country?How can you tell your father you like a person for a girl?
hey my name is sidra and i am 26 years old i studying CA my articles is about 3.5years that is must for availing my CA course degree is remaining i am very focus towards my dreams so due to this reason i don’t want to get marry i don’t want to loose my dreams so my question is this allow in Islam that i don’t get marry just for the seek of fulfillment of my dreams???
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu….
I am 26 years old…. my parents have fixed me to one of my cousin… and planning to get me married by this April…. i was disturbed by this guy so did istikhara but my heart is not ready to accept this guy…. day by day my heart is hating that guy…. when i said my parents my parents not ready to accept it thinking about the family status and peoples talk… parents thinking if we reject this guy people will laugh at us people will talk so much… they say i want to kill them…. as i am 26 years old my parents i will get old guys only now… i like one guy i insist them to get me married to him… but my parents are just rejecting him as there are lots of miss understandings between my parents and his parents(the guy whom i like)… when i did istikhara about the guy whom i like i got positive…. but my parents are just against him….my parents just favoring my cousin whom my heart is not ready to accept at all… too much disturbed with this…. my parents are forcefully getting me married to him… what can i do? Can anyone please guide me……
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If you want to get married to older man than yourself or same age as yourself then you should be clear with your parents about it.
Regarding cousin marriages, they are not popular anymore as extended families take of advantage from you. Thank you -
As salam sister,
I felt as if I have to give you a piece of my humble advice. Marry the gentleman that you have the strong feeling for even when your parents isn’t supporting you. As you’re a Muslim woman you may get your help for marriage through your local masjid for the walimatul and ask on advice from the imam on getting nikkah done without the father (it can be done and it is allowed in islam for both man and woman, *please correct me if I am wrong)
It is okay for you to marry the man that you like without your parents permission. I don’t know if you would be able to read my message or not but I wish this will reach you somehow.
Waaleykum salaam.
Please know that the ‘answer’ for istikhara dua is not whether you ‘feel’ like you like this guy more than the other one.
When you pray Istikhara dua, leave everything to the decision of Allah. So, how do you know if the answer of your Istikhara is positive/negative?
If it’s positive, the plans (in this case – marrying your cousin) will go on smoothly and everything will happen easily and in the scheduled time. There will be enough money for everything needed etc
If on the other hand after praying Istikhara, you find that every time something is planned, example, family meeting to discuss the marriage, something comes up & it’s postponed…. someone in the family maybe falls sick and wedding is postponed…. maybe the cousin marrying you says he wants (maybe) to travel before doing the marriage, the house you are planning to live in after marriage develops some issues like owner wants to renovate, someone else rented it out first before you….etc, so something always comes up. This is a meaning that the Istikhara outcome is negative and another spouse can be searched.
You have to be patient and believe the words you pray in the Istikhara dua. That Allah knows and you know not.
Sometimes we like something that is bad for us, sometimes we hate something that is good for us.
We are instructed that after praying the 2 rakah naafilah prayer, then say Istikhara dua, then (consult them in the affair. Then when you have taken your decision, put your trust in Allah….) Qur’an 3:159
I pray that Allah grants you patience in this matter, & wisdom & guidance & make everything easy for you.amin
There is a new type of marriage that was suggested for youth who have no financial needs and its zawaj misyar, until they gain it.
There is a best way getting married without financial means, this is known as zawaj misyar whcih is like a normal marriage where it fulfills all the requirements of the usual marriage contract(Nikkah), but the wife agrees to surrenders her rights to financial support, maintenance, and accommodation. I find the zawaj misyar to be a perfect type because it meets the needs of young people who don’t have the financial means, so to allow a couple to be intimate and have a relationship the halal way. zawaj misyar prevents any sexual relations outside marriage or any illegal sexual acts. So, those who do not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations.
Im 31year good looking indian muslim girl..completed my mba …and working.but not finding any match or marriage proposals
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what is your requirement for match/proposal?
Assalamu alaikum.
My name is Mohammed
I am an indian muslim. 28 yrs. Old bachelor
I am working in a small company. I have a younger sister and a mother.
I am not getting any help from the Creator. I am financially weak and i have debts close to 1 million indian rupees which was of my late father and it is on my shoulders to clear.
God has put the burden of life and debts on me and never was my life an easy one since i started working.
I can some how support my family with my Limited earNings.
Now people are asking me to get married which is logically impossible.
The QURAN and Hadiths also states that there is no celibacy on Islam.
I have no great help or hope from anything. I have lost faith in everything in thos world.
My question is that will i get paradise if i die without getting maried.
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Well I suggest for you zawaj almisyar just like what was mentioned before with Nina
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Donot worry. I hope you will find ways to solve your problems in a beautiful way inshallah.
Take a leap of faith. That’s life
Please send answer… Any thoughts…. I know there is practically nothing on my case……….
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Asslamualaikum, brother. All I can do is pray for you, In Shaa Allah you’ll get paradise. Ameen. I read somewhere that no one is going to heaven except with Allah’s mercy. Do not lose hope, keep praying and asking Allah SWT for forgiveness. In Shaa Allah you’ll pay off all the debt. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
I am an Indian.. who love a Pakistani girl madly.. the problem is I am divorced.. should I propose her??
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Want to get married think again you are Indian and she is Pakistani lots conflicts and problem ahead and all the best for your upcoming suicide mission named as marriage 😆😀😁😂😃😊😄😱😰😤👊👎
Those who can’t afford marriage due to the lack of financial meens, I recommend misyar marriage.
Misyar marriage is where a man does a normal marriage contract with a woman, meeting the conditions of marriage, but the woman on her own will abandons some of her rights such as accommodation, maintenance, and living together. I consider misyar marriage because it meet the needs of young people whose resources are too limited, and it prevents them from falling into haram.
I want to get married .i am in second year studying Btech civil in kerala..I am looking for marriage after i graduated .
i wish to marry a very beautiful ..educated..like Doctor or Engineer..like from big family..who can speak malayalam…living in USA or London etc..
Sorry i was joking…i am not like that..if i wish for it then my way of life is fake.i am always correcting my way of submission to Allah like i am learning to correct my English communication.btw..you know people who are richer in heart is the one who suffers more.If you know any sister or daughter who is physically challenged yet want to learn about islam or very practising one can reply me with your mail…i can support in every way i can..know this i can live a normal life with less privilages in this world…don’t expect anything more from me…i don’t like big celebrations of wedding here..i don’t want to see people rejoicing forgetting Allah and i hate them…i have crazy plans to start halal business ..so that i can support the sister you find for me…you know what look for someoone from streets…i am confident and brave like Umar ibn Khattaab..
I am risk taker…i want to risk my life in business.. IInshaAllah i will pass but i can or not get job due to sunnah…so i prefer to business…i like it..
Priority is life for Allah…
You cannot expect security…sometimes we will be alone…so when i work..you should stick with me always…i can pull you…carry you..you should know how to joke ..
You what life is a lie…big lie…it doesnt even exist..we don’t even exist without it…it is supernatural..
Some one like her can make me remember of Allah more…and make me more productive and successful in life.
My name is Syed Mohammad Samad .i m 30yrs namazi n good looking.i have performed hajj.if any girl wants to marry then contact on mail: muhammad14samad@gmail.com .jazakallah
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Have you found ur partner?
Marriage is a door of Hell let it be closed don’t dare to open it, I’m fed up with my life after getting married came to only one decision married people are cursed as they always will be
Those who all want to get married I have perfect solution just join the army and die for your country you’ll be called as martyr what more you guys want
Marriage is a major sin nowadays specially if you are well grown man like me I hurted my Self esteem badly after getting married.
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I just got married 5 months ago and I agree with Tariq. Run while you can before it’s too late.
i am 35 n still unmarried. sometimes it gets on my nerves .. bt am in habit of making it overcome. the only problem is PEOPLE. they make life hell with thr taunts of being unmarried. … its all about fate n luck. believe in Allah. He never disappoint His lovers.
Im 35 too still un married .You know what i think people should have no right to dictate our lifes to us . Marriage is a very personal thing and only belongs to your life . No one can tell if marriage is good for you or not .Neither can you know that for yourself .As the saying goes a good deed may not be good for you .So how would we know if marriage is good for us . So dont bother about what others say .They should mind their own business .
I am a 25 year old Muslim male from Mumbai, India and I have decided that I will never get married for two reasons.
First reason is that every Muslim man is a slave to his wife and children (whether he knows it or not) because Islamic law says that a man alone should spend his money on his family and the woman is not required to spend a single penny on the family even if the woman is wealthy than her husband and even if the woman earns more money than her husband. Even if the woman spends her money on the family then she will get the reward of a charity on every single penny she spends on the family. This law makes the life of a Muslim man tough in a marriage. He has to work like a slave to his wife and the wife can do the easy job of raising kids, cooking, etc.
Marriage makes a Muslim woman a queen and a Muslim man a slave to that queen (his wife). Islamic law pampers women and burdens men with huge responsibility and with the toughest job of earning money in this competitive world.
So I don’t want to be a husband. I can earn my money and enjoy it on myself instead of having a wife and children to support, provide and spend on.
Second reason is that I don’t want to bring a child in this world by becoming a father in such a world which is filled with pornography and pre-marital and extra-marital affairs. Today its very common for people to watch porn on Internet and today we live in a world where we can’t live without Internet because its used for many different purposes including studying and working.
Parents feel that their child is the best and they can never do Haram acts of watching pornography but they don’t know what their child is doing on his/her mobile phone. On top of that pre-marital affair and extra-marital affair is also very common among both Muslims and Non-Muslims. I don’t think that its easy to teach the children to live their life according to Islam in this world filled with nudity and shamelessness. I don’t want another Muslim child (my own child) to come to this world filled with nudity. So I don’t want to be a father either.
hmmmmmm how are you i’m good looking muslim
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A South Asian Muslim on his journey..sometimes confused and dazed.. These are collected articles, bits of knowledge picked up along the way. Visit the pages and posts to find a vast array of subjects that irked my curiosity. Hope you may find a gem or two to enlighten you. Peace be upon you.
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